Tuesday, January 26, 2010
by Jo Anne Montoya
Wow. My 8-year anniversary with Aunt Ann's Home Care was yesterday. Time sure flies when you’re doing what you love to do and working with some great people. Oh, and the old saying about time flying when you’re having fun? How true this is. 2010 brought in a brand new baby granddaughter for me. Talk about fun. And pink!
While my original plan was to take off a few days to watch my grandson while his mommy was giving birth and recovering, that plan got a little iffy. My co-worker/office mate (two-girl accounting department) was going on her yearly vacation to visit her parents out of state right around that time. I crossed my fingers the baby would be born on a weekend or on a day when one of us would not
have to be in the office.
Then I thought I better have a back up plan of some sort, so I sent the entire office an email. I let them know that I would be taking time off but that if it was absolutely necessary (meaning I had to get paychecks out), I would bring my grandson to work with me. “Not to worry,” I assured them. “He will not bother anyone nor be upstairs without me.” My office is downstairs away from everyone. It was a sure fire plan, should I need to do this.
I got several emails back, one of which said,
Thank you for the Heads Up. There is one issue I see with your plan, and when you have taken care of it I will be in total agreement. When Jojo is in the building you MUST share him with the other Nanas present!! You are expected to spread the Joy, as we all need our “cool Kiddo” time!
Wow, what a terrific response. I was in heaven knowing that I could do this without a problem and mostly knowing what great people I work with.
Jojo did come to work with me, and I kept my end of the bargain bringing him upstairs to have lunch and visit with everyone. Not only do I have the best co-workers in the world but little Jojo has another Nana and some Aunties too.
Now the real task is how I’m going to get this little bundle of “pink joy” in to meet everyone.
Labels: grandchildren, grandparents, work/life issues
posted @ 7:58 PM
Thursday, January 7, 2010
by Anna Fong
Hello everyone … Happy 2010!
The New Year is here, and what better time to focus and to incorporate positive changes in our lives. One of my goals this year is to develop and follow through on an achievable weight loss/ fitness program. My family is very high risk for heart disease as I have a sister who had a triple heart bypass at the age of 49, and I lost a brother to a massive heart attack when he was 51 years old.
I have joined gyms, taken exercise classes by myself, and have not been very successful in the past. I would come up with every excuse imaginable to avoid exercising.
This year a friend and I have decided to partner up to become diet/exercise buddies. Having someone there to hold you accountable for your actions (or lack of) and to also encourage and to challenge each other, has proven to be successful.
We plan on incorporating the following 10 recommendations to achieve our goal:
1. Do activities you likeFirst, find an activity that you truly feel is fun (or at least most bearable). It doesn’t matter if it’s country line dancing, aerobic classes, or running.
2. Integrate fitness into your scheduleMake a set schedule so that you automatically know it’s the time and day for your workout. By leaving this to chance, it’s easy to put it off and say “I’ll do it later.” Later either never comes or is interrupted by life.
3. Use the buddy system for motivation and supportFind a workout buddy to exercise with you. On days you don’t feel like working out, your buddy will help motivate you. And, on days your buddy is down, you’ll repay the favor.
4. Stay off the weighing scales!Weighing in everyday can be discouraging. Especially since fat usually drops or increases all at once after several days. Stay off the scale except to monitor weekly progress.
5. Start off slowly on your workout programDoing too much too soon only leads to sore muscles and an unwillingness to do the same routine again. When you do too much your muscles will have a hard time performing the next time. If your workout is making you sore, you’re doing more than you should. Back off and cover less distance, workout for a shorter time, or use less weight. Gradually add more over time.
6. Remember: You’re uniqueEveryone is different. Comparing yourself to others is a dangerous pitfall. Stress follows and before you know it you may feel discouraged, hopeless, and depressed when in fact you may be doing great. Nothing is more important than where you are at now. Improving and challenging yourself from your starting point is vital to long-term improvement.
7. Don’t work too hard - go at your own paceDuring any strenuous exercise it’s important to work at your own pace. That means at a level at which you can still breathe and talk. When you get out of breath it’s a signal you’re working too hard. Instead of stopping, reduce the intensity to an amount that’s more comfortable. You’ll find yourself able to exercise for a longer period of time and enjoy it more.
8. Reschedule missed workoutsOne workout leads to another, but a missed workout shouldn’t lead to another missed workout. Things in life happen that interrupt those with even the best intentions. If a workout gets the nix, schedule in a replacement as soon as possible. If that’s not feasible forget it. Do a little extra next time and let it go. It’s not the workouts you miss that count, it’s the ones you complete.
9. Make fitness a habitAvoid a mental duel each time you get ready to exercise. Considering your routine as an option – should I or shouldn’t I – is treacherous. You wouldn’t consider brushing your teeth as an option, or taking a bath. Working out needs to be thought of as just another habit. Something you do without thinking or talking yourself in/out of.
10. Have a plan of what you want to achieve from your workoutRegardless of whether you want to lose weight, tone up, or just get healthy, you need to have a plan. One that is effective.
We all would like to be in a state of good health as we approach our senior years and what better time than to start now…
… our first goal is "to lose 10 pounds by March 2010"…
For more information on heart disease:
http://www.americanheart.org/Labels: exercise, fitness, New Years resolutions, weight loss
posted @ 11:39 PM
Thursday, December 3, 2009
by Amy Rosen
The holidays are coming and this is the my first year without Mom. I have mourned the passing of a father, husband, brother-in-law, and now my mom, someone who used to be a big part of the holiday season died this year. And now the holidays are looming like the crest of a huge ocean wave, threatening to take me and my holiday memories under with it. What do I do? How do I walk that perilous shoreline of grief while everyone around me seems to have an intact family, with everyone alive and happy? And it gets compounded every time I turn on the TV or open a magazine, and see all those other family units in technicolor joy, underlining over and over exactly what I’m missing.
I know that I’m not alone. And there is a way to get through this. It will not be simple, easy or carefree. But I will get through it. And “maybe” next year will be easier. This year I know will be the hardest. This year I will be more aware of missing my mom. I will start to heal, and find ways to move that healing along a bit more every time an occasion comes up.
So, in that spirit, this year, on my Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve tables, I will light a special candle for all you who have lost a family member, and will say a prayer from my heart that consolation and peace will come to comfort you.
I’m going to take a deep breath and brace myself for that wave effect.
Please contact your physician or local hospice organization for information on and referral to bereavement groups and services.
Labels: bereavement, holidays, home care, hospice
posted @ 11:19 AM
Thursday, November 5, 2009
by Amy Rosen
My mother passed this last May, and we are still taking care of her estate. In spite of all the pre-planning we had done, we still had lots of the same problems we had when we lost our Dad in 1986. My sister and I decided that this time we would do a much better job of planning.
After dad passed away, we pretty much took care of Mom -- then 68 years old -- not because she was ill, but because she had never written a check, she couldn’t drive, and was very dependant on Dad for pretty much everything. This actually made things easier for us. Mom really didn’t mind our care since she had been dependant on dad all those years.
Mom had a pre-planned will of what
she wanted if she passed: what she wanted done with her things, who was to get what, and what not to give away. As mom got older, she decided she wanted to make more of her inheritance choices and started to clean out her home from “extra” things she was no longer needing or wanting. For our birthdays, she would give a piece of jewelry that was given to her by my dad or by someone in the family.
These birthdays actually became a special time for my sister and me because we were “inheriting” memories of the past to enjoy now. It gave mom great pleasure to see us wear something she had given us, and she would relive the moment, giving a detailed account about the item. My sister and I appreciated these gifts because now we knew the stories behind the mementos, and we can
now start sharing the same stories with
our children, giving them gifts of memories so they too can appreciate the stories.
By the time mom passed she had pretty much cleaned out her home of “extra” stuff, some of value and some not. She kept only the bare necessities for her everyday life, which was a great help to my sister and me when we had to sell her home. Still, it was very difficult to get rid of her things, no matter the value. The home had been a gift to Mom and Dad from my sisters and me, which we had purchased back in 1968, so the transition of selling was easy but still very emotional.
We sold the home in three weeks, but the rush of emptying it out and getting it ready for the buyer was very difficult: living in the Bay Area and traveling for as many three-day weekends as possible, getting storage, cleaning the house for the new owners, and taking care of her estate and the final paper work that has still has to be done.
The lesson we learned was to be prepared. It is difficult to talk to anyone about what they want in case of their death, but frankly I don’t want anyone, especially my daughter, to have the burden of making those decisions for me.
Labels: eldercare, estate planning, parents, sandwich generation, senior care, seniors
posted @ 6:32 PM
Thursday, October 8, 2009
by Vicki Paul
October is “Breast Cancer Awareness” month, and I have a personal story to share.
As a health care professional and the Executive Director of Aunt Ann’s Home Care, I like to think I take pretty good care of myself. At least when it comes to regular screenings and immunizations. Around the first of February, my birthday month, each year I make my appointments as needed. OB-GYN check-ups, mammograms, etc. I have no family history of any kind of cancer so my screenings are every two years. In 2006 I had my screenings. Imagine my surprise when I received a call to return for a repeat mammogram on Feb. 10, 2006, my 55th birthday! Oh well, I thought, probably just a technical problem. I cheerfully took off work a little early and kept the appointment they gave me.
After the second mammogram things began to move very quickly. I had a very small lump. A biopsy was needed using ultrasound technology. So small, they said, probably nothing. The radiologist even said that she may have removed it entirely just to get a biopsy, it was so small. It will be fine; I thought, this is all just a pain...
I attended my IHSS Advisory Committee meeting the first Monday as usual. I explained that I was expecting a phone call from my doctor and would need to excuse myself from the meeting to take it; however, it would only take a minute and I would be back. Still knowing that everything was fine. The phone rang, I answered the call, and the doctor said, “Your biopsy shows invasive, ductile carcinoma of the breast.” All I heard was the “C” word. Shaking, I made my way back to the meeting and excused myself. I don’t know how long I sat in my car. My phone kept ringing, “Appointment with the surgeon is on... need to get pre-op exams..." So many decisions?!?
I made no secret of my diagnosis. I wanted my family and friends to take this journey along with me. I had surgery on March 13, 2006. The cancer was stage one, very tiny, and removed entirely. I did not need chemotherapy. I did require thirty radiation treatments. I continued to work during radiation therapy and had very few side effect.
My regular screenings paid off! While my journey is on-going -- three years, seven months so far -- I work hard not to dwell on the “C” word and meet each day with a smile. I am forever changed both physically and mentally. I keep my journey positive and live each day to the fullest! With generous support from family and friends I will make it through this difficult journey!
Take what you will from my story; however, know that early detection saved me!! The “C” word is more treatable than ever. Please support Breast Cancer research whenever you can. When you see someone wearing Pink this month, think of me and all my Survivor Sisters!!!
For more information contact the
American Cancer Society.
Labels: breast cancer, mammogram
posted @ 3:00 PM
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
by Vicki Paul
As the Executive Director of Aunt Ann’s Home Care, I am responsible (among other things) for managing the care and supervising the caregivers of all Aunt Ann’s clients. Having been in home care since 1982, I can carry out my duties with one hand tied behind my back. I love what I do and take pride in my work. Piece of cake!!
My 81 year old Mother has Alzheimer’s disease. She lives in my home town, Wilson, North Carolina. I also help manage her care long distance. You would think this would come as easy to me as my job does. NOT!!! This is the hardest job I have ever undertaken. I have it easy: my two younger brothers and my sister-in-law must deal with Mom’s issues on a daily basis. Living so far away, I do my best to support them and guide them in the everyday issues that arise.
Generally speaking Mom does well. She lives in her home with caregivers who live-in. She goes to family functions, out to dinner and church on Sunday. She is never alone. In many ways we are fortunate. She does not wander, has fair bowel and bladder control, usually gets along with everyone, and still remembers family members. Of course there are times... like the day she went flying out the back door to meet my brothers on the driveway to tell them "Did you know that your Dad sold the house to 'that woman' for one dollar?!!" My Dad died two years ago and "that woman" is the caregiver. Mom's disease prevents her from understanding reasoning. My brothers had to go along with her and attempt to redirect her. They were there to take her out to dinner, so changing the subject and taking her away from the house was successful in defusing the situation. I was left to support my brothers in the fact that their actions were appropriate despite their difficulty in agreeing that Daddy sold the house.
When dealing with Mom we must always remember to live in her moment. The most difficult part is agreeing with her when we know in our heart that it is the disease talking, not the Mom that we grew up with. Guilt seems to be the emotion of choice for all of us. Professionally, I tell families to be proud of the fact that their loved one is safe and comfortable in their own home; be proud that you and your family have facilitated the necessary care. Enjoy the time you spend with the client and find joy in whatever mood presents itself. I tell families that their role is to be a supportive family member and leave the caregiving responsibilities to the professionals. Role reversal is a typical event when a family member needs care for any reason.
My brothers and I now have our own lives to deal with in addition to the time it takes to care for Mom. Everyday I miss my Mom and am sad that I live so far away. I visit as often as I can and support my brothers and sister-in-law by phone and email to the best of my ability. I am so grateful that they are willing to directly oversee her care and participate in her life. Long distance care management, the most difficult job I will ever have. Having Mom safe and sound in her own home, going to Aunt Betsy’s to play cards every Saturday, celebrating my nephew’s birthday, PRICELESS!!!
Let go the guilt and revel in the priceless moments!!
For more information, contact
Family Caregiver Alliance, a support network for family caregivers.
Labels: Alzheimer's disease, care at home, caregiver, eldercare, home care, home health care, parents, senior care, seniors
posted @ 3:52 PM
Friday, September 18, 2009
I'm Beth Terry, the CFO of Aunt Ann's Home Care as well as the editor of this blog. When I first started working at Aunt Ann's over 10 years ago, I really had no personal experience with home care or caring for the elderly. I was in my early 30's and my parents were not yet at that point.
Well, time is slowly slipping by, and my parents are beginning to need assistance. The trouble is that my dad will not admit it. He's the caretaker, responsible for not only my mom, whose Alzheimer's disease has been steadily progressing for the last 10 years, but also my brother David, who has Down Syndrome. While caring for Mom and David, my dad also volunteers to help out needy people at church, giving rides and even sometimes financial assistance. And although he takes care of others, he's unwilling to accept help himself.
But last month something started to change. Living in Hawaii, thousands of miles away from me or my other siblings, my dad finally realized that maybe it was time to move back to the mainland. And that maybe the move was more than he could handle alone. He called my sister and told her he felt overwhelmed, not knowing where to start, and spending day after day playing computer Solitaire to escape his worries. And so it was that my sister, brother, and I flew to Hawaii to set things right. I have to say, we were feeling pretty confident that we could handle whatever arose.
Of course, things don't always work out the way we expect them to. No sooner did we arrive, than we found our dad not in the midst of packing or organizing to move back but instead planning all kinds of fun activities for us while we were there. A trip to the Polynesian Cultural Center, Hanauma Bay, Diamond Head, maybe even a show. He didn't want to work. He wanted to play. And we were going to have to be the mean parents insisting that we weren't there to have fun but to "help" him.
When it became clear that he didn't really want to move away from Hawaii in the first place, we devised a different strategy. At least we could get a home care aide for my mom who couldn't care for herself and whose activities had been limited due to a recent fall. I called Vicki Paul, my friend and the Executive Director of Aunt Ann's, to find out what steps we should take. She advised me to call my parents' long term care insurance company for information, and she guided me through how to set up an appointment with a nurse to assess my mom's care needs.
I felt pretty good about these decisions, until a walk with my dad revealed that he didn't feel the same way. "I feel like you're telling me I'm incompetent," he said. "I feel like we shouldn't ask for help if we don't need it." My heart sank. My poor dad's sense of worth and dignity were based on being competent and helpful to others. Here I was breaking his spirit when all I wanted to do was make things better for them.
"Dad," I said. "Please just let the nurse come and give some suggestions. You're doing a great job. But the nurse is a trained professional. Maybe she can suggest some ways to care for Mom that you haven't thought of. And maybe there are some tasks that a qualified home care aide could perform that would allow you to be an even better caregiver for Mom. Isn't that what you both deserve?"
Dad reluctantly agreed to the assessment. The nurse came and evaluated my mom and made her recommendations. In the end, my dad opted not to pursue home care at this time. But I feel like the stage is set. The wheels are in motion. I'm hoping that when the time comes that my dad is ready to consider home care again, it will be easier for him to accept the help that is available.
Labels: care at home, caregiver, eldercare, home care, home health care, parents, senior care, seniors
posted @ 4:34 PM
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