Contact     Site Map     Home   Home Services Resources About Contact Committed and Caring "I want to thank you most sincerely for the aid you provided during my beloved wife's recent illness. Your caregivers are excellent. They were caring, efficient and devoted. We will always keep you in mind." - Aunt Ann's Client "Thank you so much for all your help and support. It was such a consolation to have your help. Your caregivers were so kind to me. I am grateful for Aunt Ann's." -Aunt Ann's Client "...I quickly learned we were in good hands with Aunt Ann's. Your caregivers and office staff were professional, attentive and compassionate. Thank you." -Aunt Ann's Client Services Companions Homemakers Personal Care Aides Home Health Aides Nurses Aides CNA's CHHA's Care Management LifeLine Home Safety Services Physical Therapy Associations [ Gilbert Guide ] [ National Private Duty Association ] A Tradition Of Caring Since 1958  Resources: Ask Vicki Vicki Paul, Resident Expert Vicki Paul is the Director at Aunt Ann’s Home Care. She has over 20 years of experience as a nurse and in home care. She is Board Member of the San Mateo Public Authority and is active with local and statewide industry associations. Have a question you need answered? Fill out the form below and Vicki will answer you via this forum or privately.   Topic Index:         Confused Elderly Mother         Mother Living Alone         Parents Resistant to Change Confused Elderly Mother Dear Vicki, Since the holidays are over, I have noticed that my elderly Mother is more confused than normal. I have returned to work and the kids are back in school. We had a lot going on and everyone is finally back on their schedules. My Mother is having trouble coping with everyday things, like her housekeeping and grooming. She seems overwhelmed. What can I do to help her? A Concerned Daughter Answer Dear Concerned Daughter: We often see increased confusion in the elderly when their routine is interrupted like over the holidays. Indeed, when life returns to normal for everyone else, the senior still hasn’t been able to adjust. This possibly could be your Mother’s new normal. Having an evaluation by her physician or case manager to assess what is going on would be a good first step. That can help in finding out what has changed, and what you can do about it. Your Doctor or Case Manager may suggest an Adult Day Health Program, so she can be supervised and be active during the day. Home Care may also be a solution. A caregiver sent to your Mother’s home can provide companionship and some oversight over her daily activities. It can be helpful to have scheduled activities whether at an Adult Day Health Program or with Home Care. This way she will know what to expect and can bring some organization to her life. This can help reduce stress and alleviate some of her confusion. Aunt Ann’s can provide caregivers in this situation from 2 hours to 24 hours. There is no contract or obligation for services, so that whatever assistance your Mother needs, we are able to provide. [ Return to Topic Index ] Mother Living Alone Dear Vicki, My Mother lives alone and has been in the same house for over 40 years. She has 40 years of newspapers to prove it! Her belongings are piled waist high throughout the house. This is a safety and fire hazard. When I suggest that we clean some of it out, she gets very agitated. What is the best way to handle this? Thanks- A Worried Daughter in San Mateo Answer Dear Worried Daughter: You are right to be worried. Many accidents happen in the home because of such hazards. This is a common problem that many of our clients' family members call us with. Addressing this issue is no easy endeavor. One suggestion is to bring in someone who specializes in organizing and cleaning. In fact there is a professional association of organizers that can help. Aunt Ann's has caregivers who have experience working with seniors in clearing out and organizing the house. The biggest challenge is letting your Mother know that her possessions are valuable and will be treated with dignity. Establishing trust with the person who is helping with the organizing is the first step to make this happen. Next, take it step by step, starting with small projects. Also, start with belongings she might not be as attached to. They are easier to let go of. As she builds trust and gets used to her new surroundings, the effort should go more smoothly. We recently had a case where a conservator had a new client that needed help cleaning out her house. It was a very similar situation to yours. The woman was in her 80's and had lived in the same house for many years. Her neighbors became concerned about her because her trash cans had been set out and never put back. When they checked on her, she had fallen over a stack of newspapers. She had been injured, but not too seriously. Since she didn't have any family members that they could find, a case manager was assigned to her. The case manager contacted Aunt Ann's and we sent over a caregiver with experience with big clean up projects. It took many visits with the caregiver just stopping by for a short while before they could start the cleaning project. The client loved ice cream, so they would meet regularly to have ice cream together. The caregiver was able to build rapport and trust with the client. It took awhile to get the house in shape, but it was worth investing the time to do it right. That particular caregiver still goes a couple of times a week to care for the client. It just so happens that the client needed to gain weight. We were able to take care of both problems at the same time! [ Return to Topic Index ] Parents Resistant to Change Dear Vicki, My parents are pretty independent people and are resistant to getting help. Their house has been messier every time I visit. It seems that they are not eating as regularly as they used to. Small things are just falling through the cracks. How do you get them to accept help? Thanks, a concerned daughter in San Francisco. Answer Dear daughter: This is a very common situation. Mom and Dad don’t want to admit things are not going as well, and things are not bad enough to get too involved. This would be a good time to have a 3rd party come in and assess the situation and make suggestions. Often when family members make suggestions, they aren’t heard; whereas an outside professional opinion isn’t as threatening and might be easier to hear. I recently made a visit to the hospital for a pre-discharge assessment. Mrs. was 89 and Mr. was 92. He informed me that he had taken care of Mrs. for the last 67 years and did not need help now!! However, to satisfy his daughter, he would consent to one week of service. I explained all the duties of a caregiver: personal care, light housekeeping, cooking, laundry, etc. Mr. let me know in no uncertain terms that he was the cook and needed no help in that area. I visited the home on the first day of service. Mrs. was up and in the living room with her hair in curlers. She told me she just had the best shower of her life and even had her hair done! Mr. was in the kitchen trimming fat from chicken which the caregiver was about to prepare. Quite a turn around within just a few hours of the start of care!! He continues to request service every week. 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